Monday, June 28, 2010

A new first

After 9 years of being together as a couple plus another 4 years plus married, you'd think we'd have experienced most of our firsts together already. First big fight, first car, first family home, first pet, first baby.  Now there's a new first for us, and that is the first time to be physically apart for a month.
Hubby has been assigned to an offshore project for a month in the US. We've been anticipating this already since initially he was supposed to be out in April, but this was cancelled and now he is on a new project and it entails being in the US for 4 weeks.  He left june 27 and is due to be back july 25.
Like all first times, it mighty hard to adjust.  First, I'm so used to having him just here.  Free to text, free to chat, same time zone. The 1 day apart from the time he left to the airport was hellish enough because he was incommunicado.  Thank God for Skype though, we at least get to see each other.  Its a big thing, this technology. At least there's webcam and chat.  Good thing I am allowed that here in the office, I can wait for hubby to be online.
We're just starting with the setup and though I know it'll get easier in time and then one month is just a short period, well, there are times I just terribly miss him, and the thought of not having him here just plain sucks.  I could of course savor weekends I can spend with myself or with my daughter.  Always wanted to go out sometimes, and maybe this is one of those opportunities to do so.
As for hubby, I can only say that this is such a great opportunity for him.  I've always been by himself, and by going out of the country alone he will be more confident and sociable. :-) Spread your wings and fly, my love!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

On moving on and forward

Today marks my last day out of a 1 year hiatus from the corporate world. Hopefully it will be a breeze starting work again. It's a good thing though that I am really happy where I am going, it has all the elements for a start of a good career. Too early to tell, I know, but I always think that thinking positive helps to make a good start. Anyway, I'm happy with what's going on ahead of me.
The past year has been a roller coaster ride for us, I definitely learned a lot, lived a lot, and definitely feel that for what we lacked on the financial side the past year, the memories and the experience more than made up for it. I would not have exchanged it for the world.
First and foremost, it was the experience of having been a stay at home mom for a time, while I had busy days when I tried to handle a business, for the most part I was busy with Jessica and running the home. It was heaven being able to take care of a toddler, see to her needs, and generally see how she's growing up, good and bad sides included. At the end of 2009, I even let go of my yaya, and had to struggle being the full-time mom for around 3 months. And I definitely have no regrets over that, I think those 3 months together where we only had each other (hubby, me and Jess) was also a plus because I can definitely say I can take care of my daughter + all the chores on my own, and I can live without being dependent on someone else to do the chores. It was a much needed realization for me as well, that the yaya I had simply lacked the motivation and the concern she once had for my daughter, so it was time for her to move on. The new yaya I have now, I believe she's very much worth it and worth the wait of a couple of months. I'll be leaving the house every morning confident and assured that my daughter is in good hands.
Career-wise, I don't feel that the past year has been a letdown in terms of my career. I for one, believe that the last employment I had was inevitably going to be a dead end. I was happy I ended it at three months otherwise I would spend the next few months (or years if I tried, I guess) probably miserable and 20 years older.  I also don't regret that I left the previous one before that. After a couple of months things there didn't turn out well from what I hear, so it was still a good move. True, I spent a couple of months and several frustrations over my 5-plus months of job hunting, and two job offers after I was studying the possibility that I lost my marketability, despite the UP-education and the MBA.  Turned out it was a matter of getting the right offer at the right time.  Kudos to hubby for always reminding me that the right offer will come at the right time. And it surely did.
Over my relationship with hubby, the past year has been deeply enriching, for both of us.  I have always earned my keep, and I always got the things I wanted. I had a good career in the past and really good compensation for the past 4 years that we were together, we lived a comfortable enough life and can buy the things we want. He had a whole collection of remote-controlled cars and trucks and I was happy seeing him with that, he never heard a word from me about it, just as I never heard him say anything about me shopping, whether its for me or for Jess.  But when I let go of my job our world turned upside down, he had to give me almost all of his earnings, where previously he just gave half of it so he could save or buy the things he wanted). Now he had only his allowance. It was fine for a couple of months, I had the bazaars which also earned enough to keep the lifestyle at the very least, but came December we were already having a hard time.   The first half of 2010 had been a struggle making ends meet. Though we said goodbye to diapers already and saved a lot when Jessica changed over to more economical milk - Nido 1+ to 3+ will save you a lot, we still had to struggle because the salary was only just enough. No extras.  It was hard because when I had the time to spend money, there wasn't any to spend. :-p  But I never heard hubby complain, because I am sure he gave up a lot too. No night outs for him, he would take food to the office so he can minimize lunch outs. But it did bring out a  sense of responsibility for him to be the head of the house.  And I am proud of that. It made us closer to each other and we realize that if we had each other then we can make it, for better or for worse.
In parting, this closes a difficult but otherwise very enriching one year. And as I move on and hopefully to a better more wonderful workplace, I keep this experience up my sleeve and feel happy that I got through it. :-)