A wife, a mom, a daughter, a sibling. Corporate slave (again) slash mom-preneur. A daunting task, but nonetheless one I am willing to take because I believe I will more effectively play this role, and will much better appreciate life if I were doing this instead of playing it corporate. Who knows, this may be what's in store for me in the long run.
March 20 AM - I decided to treat myself and my daughter to a bonding day at the mall (In cubao). So we went out, had her play at the playroom there while I went around naman and did a little window shopping. Got home around 3pm
March 20, 6PM - I felt this GUSH of WATER come out of me all of a sudden, similar perhaps to the bag of water bursting to those who are on term already. I don't know really, I didn't experience this when I gave birth to my first daughter. Anyhow, I called my OB right then and there since it just continued to drip, and she advised us to go to the hospital. We went to TMC. They tested the fluid and it came out as amniotic fluid na nga. They confined me and put me on bedrest.
March 21 - My birthday. Short of saying the saddest yet most memorable bday so far. Good thing no plans were made yet, since I'd end up cancelling them anyway. Had ultrasound, blood tests, urinalysis. Bedrest and IV the whole day. Ultrasound results indicated my amniotic fluid level was at .88cm. Two weeks ago when I had another ultrasound, the level was at 5.3cm. The heartbeat of the baby was strong though, and I can feel her strong kicks.
March 22 - Spent the day in waiting. Bedrest still. We waited for the OB but she never came and just texted me that its too soon for a repeat ultrasound. Despite the difficulty, I could still feel the baby moving.
March 23 - OB visited us, and we told her we wanted to go home already and i preferred to be at home instead. After all, hospital bedrest isn't helping, what with nurses coming in every 2 hours for vitals and I can't even get enough sleep. I can feel the baby fighting and I know I would fight for it also, but being away from my daughter isn't calming me at all. My bitchiness is starting to set in. My OB instead, told me the baby will go out TODAY OR TOMORROW! She tells us there is no chance of survival, she will just monitor it since it will surely come out in a day or two. She advised the nurses to transfer me to the labor room for "monitoring". It was the longest 4 hours of my life. They were monitoring contractions (NON-EXISTENT) and heartbeat of the baby (STRONG!) and I can feel her kicking all the while. And then somebody would go to me and ask me what happened and I'd have to narrate it again (sometimes I declined) and I'd end up crying. Finally I said wanted to go back to my room. If baby was fighting, who am I to give up on her. So they transferred us back to the hospital room. My daughter was also there and it lessened the sadness I really felt.
March 24 AM - Against my OB's advice, I said I wanted to go out and have the bedrest at home. The hospital expense is piling up, I don't trust my OB, and I can feel the baby fighting. I missed my daughter. My hubby and I decided instead to go directly to another OB (one I visited when I miscarried last year), for a second opinion. She advised for another CBC and another ultrasound before I left. The heartbeat was still good but the fluid level is still going down (meaning the tear isn't healing yet). So we were discharged from the hospital
March 24 PM - We visited the other OB and though her prognosis was that the chances are really slim at 90%bad, 10%good, she did say it can take days or weeks to finally come through (the miscarriage). I guess it was then that we finally accepted that the baby may not really survive, but I was still carrying on that as long as I can feel the baby fighting, then I will. She even checked the baby on the ultrasound and heartbeat was still good so she was positive about it. I was happy to be home with my daughter that I missed so much! until I slept that night, I could still feel the baby.
March 25 - At 6am, I was feverish, and desperately waiting for the baby to move, but NADA. By 6:30, I was having chills already and my teeth were chattering. It was not good, I knew the baby was gone, and it seems my body was really fighting the infection. Hubby rushed me to Cardinal Santos where my new OB is. I came in with a 40.2degree fever. when I went into the labor room it was 39.8. They tried looking for the baby's heartbeat but it was gone. They transferred me to the labor room already for induction, put me on IV/oxytoxin. I had to push the baby out because they didn't want her disfigured if they pull it out. Finally delivered her at 3:15pm. Slept through the D&C and they woke me up only before transferring me to the recovery room.
It was the recovery room period that was really troubling, since my blood pressure levels continued to drop. They had to put 3 doses of epi on me to push up the BP only for a while. I was supposed to be back the room by 5:45 but my BP was at the 77-80 levels so they couldn't let me out. At 6:30 they finally decided to have blood transfusion (2 bags). I was finally released back to the room at 1:30AM the following day.
March 26 - OB referred me to a Cardio for 2D echo and ECG, because she feared the BP levels and the high heart rate I had the day before may have other effects. I was still on IV antibiotics and continuous monitoring of BP and temp.
March 27 - finally discharged from the hospital.
The baby was already fully formed. Right now, we've already accepted that she's gone and she will always be our little angel looking at us from heaven. We're positive that someday, God will give us another one, when the time is right.