Saturday, October 22, 2011

No Other Woman Movie: Realizations

The other day I downloaded the movie No Other Woman (sorry to those against piracy!) and I was watching it during break times at work.  I finished it and liked the movie, then asked hubby to watch it again with me two nights ago.  Surprisingly, I enjoyed the movie very much, and it may very well hit a spot in my top ten movies of my time (currently what's in my list are transformers - all three of them, and pretty woman - its a pretty short list now). I think the actors gave a superb performance. I'm not saying they can win best actors or actresses come awards night, but I personally think portrayed their characters very well.  The script was well written, with quite a few quotable quotes in there, and the plot was really so nice because it plays around what actually happens in real life.  That to me is the best thing.

(Spoiler Alert)
The movie plays around the lives of three individuals: Ram (Derek), Charmagne (Christine) and Cara (Anne).  Ram and Charmagne are married for 5 years, with Ram being a furniture salesman (or owner, wasn't clear in the movie) and Charmagne was a housewife.  Cara is the heiress of a successful businessman who happens to be developing a luxury resort, she's liberal and studied in NY.  Ram and Cara meet during one of the visits of Ram to the resort as he is one of the bidders for the furniture of the resort.  To cut the story short, they get into a relationship and Charmagne finds a way to confirm it, and in the end there was fighting, there was temporary separation, but all ends well as Cara leaves and Ram and Charmagne gets back together.

Being a wife myself, I feel the character of Charmagne.  And yet, I can't really blame Ram's character.  Ok, so you may think its all his fault.  I am not all for the getting into an affair is ok thing, but somehow I have come to accept the fact that men are not really that hard to spell.  An affair may not be the first thing on their minds, but offer them something in a silver platter (aka a girl saying that theirs is a non-committal relationship) and you have a guy sold.  Everyone wants freebies anyway.  So ok, in the end Cara falls in love, and apparently for the first time, and she decides to fight for Ram too.

There are soooo many realizations with this movie, I think I can't even spell them out in one post.  For one, wives can think theirs is an ideal marriage.  How do you know when there's something going on? Worse, how do you know something is amiss when your husband is acting normally anyway?  What is normal behavior?

When you're in the position of the wife who had been cheated on, how do you move on?  Or do you forgive at all?  This is a subject of discussion in the forum I'm in with mostly wives and moms.  You know what?  I've told myself over and over again that I don't mind one-night stands.  What I can't tolerate will be him getting into an affair.  I can't share him with anyone else.  But you know what, after watching that movie, I realize how much pain an affair can cause in a relationship.  I won't change my stand, but understand where the wife is coming from, having to leave the house to allow herself to heal.  I might have done the same thing, heal, then fight for him.  but that will only be after I see that he really commits to the marriage.  If he's staying just because and there is no love left, then why bother?  I'll show him what he's losing though?

In the end, I realize that more than preparing for a fight with the mistress, its important that a wife makes sure that she can be the other woman.  Be as desirable as you can be.  You can be a housewife (but not a boring housewife), a career woman, or a mom, but you have to also play the role of the mistress. That way, who would think to go astray?

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Not sure where you are discussing, but I have several friends who have been there....some affairs started as , someone to talk to, so good idea to keep good communications. when you lose trust in your marriage, it is almost impossible to rebuild it.

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