yesterday night i was able to enroll for the first term this year. yay! i'm now in my second year in MBA! Whoa! I really call it an accomplishment, (1) because i've been paying for it with my money, all my bonuses and some help from tabs, (2) the sked in UP is really tight, and with my current workload it is becoming harder, (3) so far i've had ok grades, some of my classmates even tell me they admire the fact that I can juggle work, studies and preps all at the same time.
Anyhow, yesterday when I was with them I realized how I truly missed them. They have become my friends in the true sense of the word. We were not able to meet during the vacation so yesterday we had tons to laugh about. Its always comforting to know that there are individuals who share pretty much the same goals in life, the same scenarios you have, i.e. no money to pay for the tuition - have to get the student loan, and we share the same experience in taking MBA. Its something I didn't experience in college. Because in college I was busy with studies, didn't have my own money, and was quite busy building up on my relationship with tabs. Now, I work, earn my own living, soon to be married, and enjoying every bit of MBA Life.
You see, there are really a lot of fun things about our class. Of course, bulk of the benefits would be in gaining that knowledge we need to move up in life, I only pray that I can apply that knowledge someday. But the friendships and the camaraderie, of going through all those late night cases, online chatting (for cases) or simply hanging out in Seattle's Best (doing cases!), have made us stronger-willed persons.
Hay, I'm blabbing. I missed it, and if and when I graduate in 2007, I will miss it too. But then I will be glad for all of the experiences that came my way, for that 3 years in my life.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
government system - as always
i'm exasperated. sometimes the worst experiences in our lives are due to the simplest of things. like me, whenever i have to deal with the government bureacracy my blood pressure tends to rise ten notches (or whatever that is called).
i applied for my SSS ID last october. and it says there it will be sent to me, give or take 3 months. so there, come march i was starting to think something was wrong, so i called up sss pasig, and they tell me that if i haven't received the card then it must have been returned to sender. like duh!!!! i receive all my bills here in the office, and there is no way some post office won't find the address of my office because its like one block in ortigas! drat!!! so my dad who used to work at the PNB inside SSS Main, went there one time and got me this RTS Number that i had to get to call up the Local post office where my card was sent to. Yesterday I called up around 5 times and i couldn't catch the person there, turned out only the mailman had the information i wanted (duh again). so this morning i called in before 9, as instructed by a nice lady who answers the phone. And the mailman reasons with me, in a matter of fact way that he doesn't want to get that info because it'll take some time!!! what!!!! what was that supposed to mean? I absolutely hate it when they point fingers and not take the responsibility they have. My goodness, I pay my taxes well, of course I expect them to do their job! Now I have to call back again after an hour, after a really long discussion he finally got my information and told me to call back. in the back of my mind I'm thinking that he'll be out already delivering mail. darn it.
the thing about it is that SSS won't just let me apply for another card, i have to literally find that one missing mail. It gets so frustrating. Why can't they just have their own printers in the central office and allow people to pick up the cards instead. it'll save us all from this fingerpointing. and the sad part is there seems to be no clear policy on how to deal with these instances. its sad and its infuriating. really, it is.
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on the bright side, i already finished our love story! now i have 2 albums done. only just need to put in a few more titles and its done!!! now i have a bunch of papers coming in and no pics yet. hahahaha... funny... i'll be doing our wedding preps album and then the album of the dogs. also need to buy and album for mom, she has lots of pics from our cousins in hawaii.
i applied for my SSS ID last october. and it says there it will be sent to me, give or take 3 months. so there, come march i was starting to think something was wrong, so i called up sss pasig, and they tell me that if i haven't received the card then it must have been returned to sender. like duh!!!! i receive all my bills here in the office, and there is no way some post office won't find the address of my office because its like one block in ortigas! drat!!! so my dad who used to work at the PNB inside SSS Main, went there one time and got me this RTS Number that i had to get to call up the Local post office where my card was sent to. Yesterday I called up around 5 times and i couldn't catch the person there, turned out only the mailman had the information i wanted (duh again). so this morning i called in before 9, as instructed by a nice lady who answers the phone. And the mailman reasons with me, in a matter of fact way that he doesn't want to get that info because it'll take some time!!! what!!!! what was that supposed to mean? I absolutely hate it when they point fingers and not take the responsibility they have. My goodness, I pay my taxes well, of course I expect them to do their job! Now I have to call back again after an hour, after a really long discussion he finally got my information and told me to call back. in the back of my mind I'm thinking that he'll be out already delivering mail. darn it.
the thing about it is that SSS won't just let me apply for another card, i have to literally find that one missing mail. It gets so frustrating. Why can't they just have their own printers in the central office and allow people to pick up the cards instead. it'll save us all from this fingerpointing. and the sad part is there seems to be no clear policy on how to deal with these instances. its sad and its infuriating. really, it is.
---------------------------------
on the bright side, i already finished our love story! now i have 2 albums done. only just need to put in a few more titles and its done!!! now i have a bunch of papers coming in and no pics yet. hahahaha... funny... i'll be doing our wedding preps album and then the album of the dogs. also need to buy and album for mom, she has lots of pics from our cousins in hawaii.
Monday, May 23, 2005
the weekend that was
met 4 days in a row! now that's history in our past 3 years together!hehe... now i look forward to marriage more than ever! went to his house sat to spend some time together. the weekends of work are over for him for now. which is good since maybe i could ask him to accompany him for some wedding preps. this may haven't been able to accomplish much, just the invites mock-up. which reminds me that i need to calculate my costs for that, ewww... lately getting the cash flows together are a thing to dread, huhu... don't worry, i'll get over it. i just wish we could have the cba money already. that's the only time we can move on with the wedding preps. my entire midyear bonus is already tied up to my tuition fee. :-( but then, i can't deny that i don't enjoy school and that i'd be willing to give it up. i guess its something i have to bear with, at the very least.
on to other stuff. was able to buy the paper trimmer and some punchers last saturday at times trading. I got the paper trimmer from maped, a corner puncher, 3 border punchers, and 3 shape punchers. yay, this scrapbooking is really expensive. and take note! i was able to finish my album already!!!! yehey!!!! i'll be finishing the love story album next, i just need to do the latest addition to it, which is our subic trip. the wedding preps album, of course, would be a continuous thing, although must admit i haven't been able to touch on it for some time. :-( i'm waiting for the papers to arrive, hopefully by the end of the month (that'll be this weekend), we can have it already. that's quite a lot of papers!!!! yeheeyyyy!!!
on to other stuff. was able to buy the paper trimmer and some punchers last saturday at times trading. I got the paper trimmer from maped, a corner puncher, 3 border punchers, and 3 shape punchers. yay, this scrapbooking is really expensive. and take note! i was able to finish my album already!!!! yehey!!!! i'll be finishing the love story album next, i just need to do the latest addition to it, which is our subic trip. the wedding preps album, of course, would be a continuous thing, although must admit i haven't been able to touch on it for some time. :-( i'm waiting for the papers to arrive, hopefully by the end of the month (that'll be this weekend), we can have it already. that's quite a lot of papers!!!! yeheeyyyy!!!
Friday, May 20, 2005
hotel updates and other matters
just an update on my hotel accomodations:
the bad news: i was informed by fellow w@wie ivy that ortigas hotels are fully booked on dec 2-4, our wedding date and target check-in dates. so syempre panic, i already have an astoria platinum card and so i intend to really check in at astoria. called them up to verify and yes, there will be a convention at edsa shang on dec 3-7 so all the ortigas hotels are booked. They however allowed me to book for dec 2. problem: checkout time is 1pm, wedding is 3:30. what do i do, fully made up and dressed in my bridal gown?
the good news: after thinking about it for a while, decided to call up astoria again to see if they can put me on the waitlist for dec.3. and turns out i'm the first in the list, which is good! that's quite a high chance that I can get the accomodations because i doubt they's had 100 percent chance that everyone will confirm.
to do: will ask my coord to talk to astoria and confirm if there will be an available room for me on dec. 3. this can be done a few weeks before the wedding already.
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wednesday, may 18
tabs and i watched the revenge of the sith at glorietta, the 10pm screening. really enjoyed the movie and think its worth it.
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thursday, may 19
had dinner with tabs (2nd day of the week together :-). Was really not planning to stay out today but tabs was so in the mood to chat and i just didn't have the heart to tell him i needed to go home (he rarely talks enthusiastically about work). got home past 10 already. it was really a great night. we had discussions on career, love, etc.
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and again, tabs and i will be meeting tonight, just for some cheap dinner. have to leave the office at 7 pa, but he says its ok to wait, so that's that.
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more updates... sana....
the bad news: i was informed by fellow w@wie ivy that ortigas hotels are fully booked on dec 2-4, our wedding date and target check-in dates. so syempre panic, i already have an astoria platinum card and so i intend to really check in at astoria. called them up to verify and yes, there will be a convention at edsa shang on dec 3-7 so all the ortigas hotels are booked. They however allowed me to book for dec 2. problem: checkout time is 1pm, wedding is 3:30. what do i do, fully made up and dressed in my bridal gown?
the good news: after thinking about it for a while, decided to call up astoria again to see if they can put me on the waitlist for dec.3. and turns out i'm the first in the list, which is good! that's quite a high chance that I can get the accomodations because i doubt they's had 100 percent chance that everyone will confirm.
to do: will ask my coord to talk to astoria and confirm if there will be an available room for me on dec. 3. this can be done a few weeks before the wedding already.
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wednesday, may 18
tabs and i watched the revenge of the sith at glorietta, the 10pm screening. really enjoyed the movie and think its worth it.
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thursday, may 19
had dinner with tabs (2nd day of the week together :-). Was really not planning to stay out today but tabs was so in the mood to chat and i just didn't have the heart to tell him i needed to go home (he rarely talks enthusiastically about work). got home past 10 already. it was really a great night. we had discussions on career, love, etc.
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and again, tabs and i will be meeting tonight, just for some cheap dinner. have to leave the office at 7 pa, but he says its ok to wait, so that's that.
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more updates... sana....
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
the roller coaster ride called LIFE
life really is a roller coaster ride. sometimes things seem to go too well only to end up, well, the exact opposite. right at this moment i feel bare, after resolving to not wear my ER. tabs and I had another one of our heated arguments, and yet again, one thing led to another and *poof* we are not in speaking terms yet again.
sometimes all these fights become tiring, they have become routine that i often wonder whether the same thing will happen after we are married. and it scares me. the emotional pain weighs me down whenever it occurs to me that perhaps we will be facing this same emotional crises for the rest of our married life.
just this morning when i was asking my officemate for the tissue roll he borrowed the night before, he told me nothing was left of it, since one of our student trainees cried her heart out. I find it ironic, because the night before, i myself was crying. incidentally, I learned that the reason the must have broken up was because of lack of time spent together. That's funny. A one-year relationship and they are fighting about that. You should try a nine-year relationship. You'd know what taking for granted means like the back of your hand. and i could laugh at their immaturity to fight because of things like that. but deep inside, all i wish is that i am not in that same situation, which i am.
we were suppossed to watch the revenge of the sith this evening at glorietta. i dunno if i'm still watching, have the tickets and i intend to return them to him. so i'll probably leave the office early to get to his office by 7, that way i know if i'll go home early or what. frankly i want to sleep. i asked for time off. i want to have some time for myself.
huh... my post doesn't make much sense at all. sleepy... sleepy.
sometimes all these fights become tiring, they have become routine that i often wonder whether the same thing will happen after we are married. and it scares me. the emotional pain weighs me down whenever it occurs to me that perhaps we will be facing this same emotional crises for the rest of our married life.
just this morning when i was asking my officemate for the tissue roll he borrowed the night before, he told me nothing was left of it, since one of our student trainees cried her heart out. I find it ironic, because the night before, i myself was crying. incidentally, I learned that the reason the must have broken up was because of lack of time spent together. That's funny. A one-year relationship and they are fighting about that. You should try a nine-year relationship. You'd know what taking for granted means like the back of your hand. and i could laugh at their immaturity to fight because of things like that. but deep inside, all i wish is that i am not in that same situation, which i am.
we were suppossed to watch the revenge of the sith this evening at glorietta. i dunno if i'm still watching, have the tickets and i intend to return them to him. so i'll probably leave the office early to get to his office by 7, that way i know if i'll go home early or what. frankly i want to sleep. i asked for time off. i want to have some time for myself.
huh... my post doesn't make much sense at all. sleepy... sleepy.
Monday, May 16, 2005
time-out : SUBIC weekend
My officemates and I had a fun time away from work last weekend when we went to Subic for our annual outing (of friends). naturally, i took tabs along because this is the only outing i can comfortably have with friends. previously i went with my college batchmates but since we wanted to save some expense we decided to forego that outing. Its really such luck that Stips, one of my officemates was able to take a van at literally the last few minutes before we were to leave. That saved us some 300 bucks for transpo at least.
When we got to Subic we found out we didn't have a reservation at the hotel (Ann Raquel's) that we wanted to stay in because they mistakenly booked us at their resort. Of course we demanded that we get rooms there! We intended to go around Subic and getting booked out of nowhere would not be comfortable for us. Finally they gave us two rooms, 5 beds, just right for the 9 of us.
First stop in the morning was badminton, which tabs and i decided to forego, however we went with them for a while and they rented table tennis while waiting for their reservation at the court. Tabs played and of course, got all sweaty for that, after all the drives he did. We decided to go back to the hotel and wait for the others, pneumonia in summer is not at all good.
After all the guys were through with the game they went back to change and we went to Patmik for "sisig" lunch. We then toured around some duty free shops and went to look for some bats and monkeys. At 4pm we arrived at the All Hands Beach which was so full of people. We found a nice spot and a few of us went for a dip while the others played volleyball. After swimming and snacks we played patintero and touch ball. First time to play in the beach and had loads of fun laughing our hearts out.
We went home tired and happy.
As if the day's activities were not enough, we had dinner at boardwalk and found another place for videoke at 2000bucks consumable, unlimited time. Imagine that! Too bad we didn't find it earlier or we would have gone there for dinner already. We finished our videoke session at 2:30am!
The next day we woke up late with aching bods. Tabs, who was supposed to leave early by bus to get to the office at 10, woke up at 7 but went back to sleep. Poor guy, since we decided to leave at 1pm to go back to Manila, Tabs just decided to stay and ride back with us. We were supposed to try to go-cart but the cost was too much so we just contented ourselves with taking pics, afterwhich we went back to duty free shops and the nike outlet store. Last stop was lunch as expresso cafe. yummy 22" pizza at a good price. we left subic at around 2:30 and was back in manila by 5.
would love to post pics BUT with my current to do's at work, i'm having a really hard time. this post alone took me 2 days to finish. waaaahhh!!!!
When we got to Subic we found out we didn't have a reservation at the hotel (Ann Raquel's) that we wanted to stay in because they mistakenly booked us at their resort. Of course we demanded that we get rooms there! We intended to go around Subic and getting booked out of nowhere would not be comfortable for us. Finally they gave us two rooms, 5 beds, just right for the 9 of us.
First stop in the morning was badminton, which tabs and i decided to forego, however we went with them for a while and they rented table tennis while waiting for their reservation at the court. Tabs played and of course, got all sweaty for that, after all the drives he did. We decided to go back to the hotel and wait for the others, pneumonia in summer is not at all good.
After all the guys were through with the game they went back to change and we went to Patmik for "sisig" lunch. We then toured around some duty free shops and went to look for some bats and monkeys. At 4pm we arrived at the All Hands Beach which was so full of people. We found a nice spot and a few of us went for a dip while the others played volleyball. After swimming and snacks we played patintero and touch ball. First time to play in the beach and had loads of fun laughing our hearts out.
We went home tired and happy.
As if the day's activities were not enough, we had dinner at boardwalk and found another place for videoke at 2000bucks consumable, unlimited time. Imagine that! Too bad we didn't find it earlier or we would have gone there for dinner already. We finished our videoke session at 2:30am!
The next day we woke up late with aching bods. Tabs, who was supposed to leave early by bus to get to the office at 10, woke up at 7 but went back to sleep. Poor guy, since we decided to leave at 1pm to go back to Manila, Tabs just decided to stay and ride back with us. We were supposed to try to go-cart but the cost was too much so we just contented ourselves with taking pics, afterwhich we went back to duty free shops and the nike outlet store. Last stop was lunch as expresso cafe. yummy 22" pizza at a good price. we left subic at around 2:30 and was back in manila by 5.
would love to post pics BUT with my current to do's at work, i'm having a really hard time. this post alone took me 2 days to finish. waaaahhh!!!!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
on scrapbooking
since last saturday when i went to the scrapbooking EB, I've been more and more addicted to scrapbooking. Have uploaded my current layouts mostly of our love story and some of my pics here. Really proud of them although i have not had enough time to scrap because of work and wedding preps and summer outings. All the more when classes start. huhuhu....
yesterday i was able to to buy some buttons at Hobbes and Landes in The Podium. Funny because i only bought buttons and spent 51pesos, but got a nice paper bag with it. teeheehee. as if it weren't enough, i went to galleria in search of the eyelet setter and hammer, because i must have one. Finally been able to go to Memory Box where almost all the stuff is for scrapbooking, found one there, costing only 999. But still i found it expensive. Finally decided to settle for the one in National Bookstore, waaay cheaper at 320. In lieu of the expensive hammer upstairs i instead got some brads (red and blue and silver) and eyelets (red and blue and pink) and some cutouts. I went home really happy and excited to put embellishments. When i got home and after dinner all i did was scrap. I put those embellishments and had fun setting (meaning hammering) those eyelets. So the layouts i was able to do last night were really cute. I plan to search for some really cute cliparts that I can place on the existing layouts. Next stuff to buy: Punchers from Times trading and lots of ribbons. But I'll be buying them probably next month when i get the chance to go to Divi. Will be working on adding some more embellishments on my existing layouts for the meantine.
yesterday i was able to to buy some buttons at Hobbes and Landes in The Podium. Funny because i only bought buttons and spent 51pesos, but got a nice paper bag with it. teeheehee. as if it weren't enough, i went to galleria in search of the eyelet setter and hammer, because i must have one. Finally been able to go to Memory Box where almost all the stuff is for scrapbooking, found one there, costing only 999. But still i found it expensive. Finally decided to settle for the one in National Bookstore, waaay cheaper at 320. In lieu of the expensive hammer upstairs i instead got some brads (red and blue and silver) and eyelets (red and blue and pink) and some cutouts. I went home really happy and excited to put embellishments. When i got home and after dinner all i did was scrap. I put those embellishments and had fun setting (meaning hammering) those eyelets. So the layouts i was able to do last night were really cute. I plan to search for some really cute cliparts that I can place on the existing layouts. Next stuff to buy: Punchers from Times trading and lots of ribbons. But I'll be buying them probably next month when i get the chance to go to Divi. Will be working on adding some more embellishments on my existing layouts for the meantine.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
fuming
i am fuming mad. i'm so pissed off. sorry for whoever is reading this right now, but i really want to vent.
if there is one thing i hate, its the people who play with someone else's emotions. i've always been very open with my emotions. i rant, i seethe with anger, i sometimes feel my head is about to explode with anger. but when all that is done and everything is fixed, i do apologize, and i mean it, as long as that issue is over, that's that. no need to open it up again. because its finished. be happy, go on with life. stay sweet and smile.
but when you apologize to me and later on deliver a statement that can be SOOOO UNCALLED FOR, every piece of anger i put on the back of my mind resurfaces, with thrice the intensity. BECAUSE I HATE THAT. I hate it when someone apologizes and later on picks a fight. All the apologies suddenly just turn into mere words with no piece of sincerity in it. and the anger is much, much harder to appease. suddenly i will turn into this monster who wants to throw a tantrum and break everything within sight.
that's who i am. my patience and understanding to people i love is greater than normal. i would like to believe that my parents appreciate that in me. that i never, ever throw a tantrum at them. while my sister would provoke me every time there is a chance, i would choose to keep silent, ignore it and move on. that's who i am. am i such a bad person for feeling pissed off right now? i think NOT. i'm human. that's what i am.
i believe for my part, that if you say sorry you should be sincere in it. and its not about who gets to say the last F*^$%ng word. its about moving towards reconciliation. forgive and forget.
isn't it about that?
I don't really want to write anything more because right now, i just hate this feeling. i hate the feeling of anger and the negative vibes. If only people were more sensitive of other's feelings. if only there was a venue where things like this can be discussed. but lacking the appreciation of some people for these things, perhaps, the only thing to do is to accept, to close my eyes, count to 100 and forget about the whole thing. remember that you love that person, remember that you agreed to commit yourself to that person, remember that tomorrow, things will be better and my anger will subside.
if there is one thing i hate, its the people who play with someone else's emotions. i've always been very open with my emotions. i rant, i seethe with anger, i sometimes feel my head is about to explode with anger. but when all that is done and everything is fixed, i do apologize, and i mean it, as long as that issue is over, that's that. no need to open it up again. because its finished. be happy, go on with life. stay sweet and smile.
but when you apologize to me and later on deliver a statement that can be SOOOO UNCALLED FOR, every piece of anger i put on the back of my mind resurfaces, with thrice the intensity. BECAUSE I HATE THAT. I hate it when someone apologizes and later on picks a fight. All the apologies suddenly just turn into mere words with no piece of sincerity in it. and the anger is much, much harder to appease. suddenly i will turn into this monster who wants to throw a tantrum and break everything within sight.
that's who i am. my patience and understanding to people i love is greater than normal. i would like to believe that my parents appreciate that in me. that i never, ever throw a tantrum at them. while my sister would provoke me every time there is a chance, i would choose to keep silent, ignore it and move on. that's who i am. am i such a bad person for feeling pissed off right now? i think NOT. i'm human. that's what i am.
i believe for my part, that if you say sorry you should be sincere in it. and its not about who gets to say the last F*^$%ng word. its about moving towards reconciliation. forgive and forget.
isn't it about that?
I don't really want to write anything more because right now, i just hate this feeling. i hate the feeling of anger and the negative vibes. If only people were more sensitive of other's feelings. if only there was a venue where things like this can be discussed. but lacking the appreciation of some people for these things, perhaps, the only thing to do is to accept, to close my eyes, count to 100 and forget about the whole thing. remember that you love that person, remember that you agreed to commit yourself to that person, remember that tomorrow, things will be better and my anger will subside.
been a while since i posted, again work is quite hectic these days. so many deadlines and reports to deal with.
last saturday i picked up our mock invites, and it was only this morning when i was able to take pics and post them here. whew. been taking votes on these invites and so far, i have majority votes for the first invite. even tabs voted on this one. so i guess it just needs finalizing on our end. but too since since we might need to change some entourage later in the preps.
Tabs and I will be joining my officemates this weekend in Subic. Can't wait!
last saturday i picked up our mock invites, and it was only this morning when i was able to take pics and post them here. whew. been taking votes on these invites and so far, i have majority votes for the first invite. even tabs voted on this one. so i guess it just needs finalizing on our end. but too since since we might need to change some entourage later in the preps.
Tabs and I will be joining my officemates this weekend in Subic. Can't wait!
Monday, May 09, 2005
ranting
i feel like ranting. i know its no good to rant because at the end of the day, that's all i would have done. there are some things we cannot change in life, and some more we cannot change in people. in fact the only thing we can change is ourselves. like i read somewhere, our emotions are governed by how we react to certain situations, and if we were to try to modify these thoughts and give it a more positive note, we would have saved ourselves with a lot of emotional baggage.
yeah, yeah, easier said than done. i do feel though that to a certain extent i have changed this, but not entirely because at moods like today when i feel so tired after doing something not for myself, i feel like shouting out "I'm doing everything!" Can't you give me a break!!!!
Must be hearing too many sad stories today. I dunno. about long term relationships ending in break-ups. and i realize that it'll always be a fear, and when i hear such stories, i can't help but fear for my own.
My own. My own relationship. Most of the time when i think of marriage and family, i feel excited, as if December cannot wait any longer. But there are days when i ask myself if i really am prepared. Would i be ready to take on the responsibility of a wife? Yes, I am marrying the man i love the most, my best friend, the one and the only person i would choose to spend this life and all the other lives after this. nothing can be more thrilling than the thought of having such a man beside me, every single day. But marriage doesn't come in a box full of niceties. To be a wife, we have the responsibility of taking care of our husbands, to keep the home in order, to cook and to do laundry and to clean, not because its just part of the package, but because we choose to. Or because I choose to. I choose to make sure that when he comes home at night, he will have a hot meal, and we can eat together and discuss our day. That when he wears his clothes, they will be neatly pressed and smell nice. That when he comes home tired, i'll be there to give him a massage. That he will have a clean and orderly home. I absolutely believe its part of the package. I will not yet go into the part of kids, because right now i wish only to dwell on a wife's role, otherwise i may have to rethink everything. And then, as a career woman, I choose to do well in my career. I choose to dream that I will have enough earnings, with his, to buy a car and a house in a few years. That's why I take my MBA. Its scaring me sometimes. Can I choose to commit my life? My life that spent the past 10-15 years independently paving my career. Can I really start putting one's interests over mine, because these are the vows I made in front of God. Again, it scares the hell out of me. But if you ask me again, and again, if i would choose to live this life or let it go, I would say without the blink of an eye that of course, I choose to spend my life with him. I would face up to the challenge of being a mom, a wife and a career woman. and i would choose to be such only for this person.
This is the life of an adult. I think I must be going through my quarter life cycle again....
yeah, yeah, easier said than done. i do feel though that to a certain extent i have changed this, but not entirely because at moods like today when i feel so tired after doing something not for myself, i feel like shouting out "I'm doing everything!" Can't you give me a break!!!!
Must be hearing too many sad stories today. I dunno. about long term relationships ending in break-ups. and i realize that it'll always be a fear, and when i hear such stories, i can't help but fear for my own.
My own. My own relationship. Most of the time when i think of marriage and family, i feel excited, as if December cannot wait any longer. But there are days when i ask myself if i really am prepared. Would i be ready to take on the responsibility of a wife? Yes, I am marrying the man i love the most, my best friend, the one and the only person i would choose to spend this life and all the other lives after this. nothing can be more thrilling than the thought of having such a man beside me, every single day. But marriage doesn't come in a box full of niceties. To be a wife, we have the responsibility of taking care of our husbands, to keep the home in order, to cook and to do laundry and to clean, not because its just part of the package, but because we choose to. Or because I choose to. I choose to make sure that when he comes home at night, he will have a hot meal, and we can eat together and discuss our day. That when he wears his clothes, they will be neatly pressed and smell nice. That when he comes home tired, i'll be there to give him a massage. That he will have a clean and orderly home. I absolutely believe its part of the package. I will not yet go into the part of kids, because right now i wish only to dwell on a wife's role, otherwise i may have to rethink everything. And then, as a career woman, I choose to do well in my career. I choose to dream that I will have enough earnings, with his, to buy a car and a house in a few years. That's why I take my MBA. Its scaring me sometimes. Can I choose to commit my life? My life that spent the past 10-15 years independently paving my career. Can I really start putting one's interests over mine, because these are the vows I made in front of God. Again, it scares the hell out of me. But if you ask me again, and again, if i would choose to live this life or let it go, I would say without the blink of an eye that of course, I choose to spend my life with him. I would face up to the challenge of being a mom, a wife and a career woman. and i would choose to be such only for this person.
This is the life of an adult. I think I must be going through my quarter life cycle again....
Friday, May 06, 2005
on scrapbooking, things to do, and immigration
in short, a long post! hehe
on scrapbooking: i was finally able to join the scrapbooking yahoogroups called scrapbook-exchange. really nice group (and may i add they have such good layouts in their webshots!) geez, maybe i should just become a professional scrapbooker instead! duh! wishful thinking. anyways, they have an EB tomorrow at valle verde 2 and they will be having a sale of stuff. am particularly interested in papers, they cost 10bucks each, they sell these stuff for 50 at craftworld in galleria, geez! i'm crossing my fingers that i can drop by!
things to do: have a ton of things to do, its 5:30 pm and i still don't know what my schedule should be, uh-oh. first off, i need to drop by printed matter to get the mock up of the invites. i figure this should be my first agenda because at least i can show it to tabs' mom as well. i need to go to their place to get the docs for filing of the transcript and the school records in pisay (i'll be doing this on monday). perhaps i'll be half-day leave. still need to go to the office because there are a ton of work to do. then, if tabs has to go to the office, i need to drop by too to show him the mock-ups. i know we still won't be ordering too soon because the entourage might still change, but i want to show it to him as well. lastly i want to drop by the EB of scrapbookers. drop by would do, just to be able to buy some paper stock. maybe after lunch? before i go to tabs? hay, so many thngs to do, so little time!
on immigration: i'm contemplating on applying for skilled immigrant visa in canada for tabs and me next year, after the wedding. funny, but after 26 years, just when we are planning to start our life here, we realize just how hard life is, and I, for one, would like to look at the possibility of a future outside the Phils. Tabs has agreed to apply with me, i guess, he's also realizing how hard life is.
in the past few days i've found i want to write about a lot of things but just can't find the time. geez. i'm going home early today and hopefully would have time tonight to write.
on scrapbooking: i was finally able to join the scrapbooking yahoogroups called scrapbook-exchange. really nice group (and may i add they have such good layouts in their webshots!) geez, maybe i should just become a professional scrapbooker instead! duh! wishful thinking. anyways, they have an EB tomorrow at valle verde 2 and they will be having a sale of stuff. am particularly interested in papers, they cost 10bucks each, they sell these stuff for 50 at craftworld in galleria, geez! i'm crossing my fingers that i can drop by!
things to do: have a ton of things to do, its 5:30 pm and i still don't know what my schedule should be, uh-oh. first off, i need to drop by printed matter to get the mock up of the invites. i figure this should be my first agenda because at least i can show it to tabs' mom as well. i need to go to their place to get the docs for filing of the transcript and the school records in pisay (i'll be doing this on monday). perhaps i'll be half-day leave. still need to go to the office because there are a ton of work to do. then, if tabs has to go to the office, i need to drop by too to show him the mock-ups. i know we still won't be ordering too soon because the entourage might still change, but i want to show it to him as well. lastly i want to drop by the EB of scrapbookers. drop by would do, just to be able to buy some paper stock. maybe after lunch? before i go to tabs? hay, so many thngs to do, so little time!
on immigration: i'm contemplating on applying for skilled immigrant visa in canada for tabs and me next year, after the wedding. funny, but after 26 years, just when we are planning to start our life here, we realize just how hard life is, and I, for one, would like to look at the possibility of a future outside the Phils. Tabs has agreed to apply with me, i guess, he's also realizing how hard life is.
in the past few days i've found i want to write about a lot of things but just can't find the time. geez. i'm going home early today and hopefully would have time tonight to write.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
fears
we don't know what we fear the most until it looks us in the eye. i realize this now. i read the post of co-w@wie mhay, on her fiance jerry's operation, and i took a step back to realize that if there is anything i fear for the most in our relationship, its the health of tabs. . . not once did i fear that i will lose him to another women, to have to break up with him for any other reason. but i fear the loss of someone i love. i do not want to have to experience that pain, but i know i will someday. scary...
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yesterday i dropped by tabs' office so we can travel home together. when i got there he was still in a meeting. i had to wait up for him and he finished at almost 9 pm (i was there 7:30). the meeting was not finished yet but he told his officemates he'd go ahead. good thing they let him. when we went out i saw just how tired he looked. so haggard, he's had a lot of workload for the past few days. that's lack of sleep, comfortable sleep, that it. he sleeps in the sofa at his office and goes to the gym in the morning to take a shower and workout a bit. i know he could afford to get an apartment already but opts not to so he can save up for the wedding. he finds it hard to go home to malabon everyday with the traffic and his workload. hay.... but we have to have an affordable apartment so we can save up, besides with only the two of us we really do not need a lot of space. even a studio type place will do. we only plan to stay there anyway for around a year or so, until i finish my studies and we can pay for our own place, even if it is slightly far from the business districts. hay, i'd better take a look at apartments for rent for him....
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yesterday i dropped by tabs' office so we can travel home together. when i got there he was still in a meeting. i had to wait up for him and he finished at almost 9 pm (i was there 7:30). the meeting was not finished yet but he told his officemates he'd go ahead. good thing they let him. when we went out i saw just how tired he looked. so haggard, he's had a lot of workload for the past few days. that's lack of sleep, comfortable sleep, that it. he sleeps in the sofa at his office and goes to the gym in the morning to take a shower and workout a bit. i know he could afford to get an apartment already but opts not to so he can save up for the wedding. he finds it hard to go home to malabon everyday with the traffic and his workload. hay.... but we have to have an affordable apartment so we can save up, besides with only the two of us we really do not need a lot of space. even a studio type place will do. we only plan to stay there anyway for around a year or so, until i finish my studies and we can pay for our own place, even if it is slightly far from the business districts. hay, i'd better take a look at apartments for rent for him....
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Wednesday, May 04, 2005
updates!
haven't been able to blog for a few days, been so busy. long weekend and lots of work. hay.... anyhoo, i'll just go day to day on my updates and kwento.
saturday, april 30
i went to another company (department) outing, where i so badly wanted to win in the raffle, with ipods, personal refs, magic mic and tv with rack were at stake. to cut the long story short, i did not win. huh. so bad. had dinner with officemates. i'll miss them when they move to the other building, but i'll miss megamall too if i were to join them. i'll miss my cube (which i enjoy having here at my current assignment), and i enjoy my work. so far. of course i would enjoy higher pay. duh.
sunday, may 1
labor day. went to tabs' house to spend time with him, brought some mangoes which were not too sweet. kainis. i'll never buy at qmart again! hmph. i really enjoyed quiet time with tabs. we had a chance to chat and of course, cuddle a bit. :-)
i was also able to do the unity candle (revised). here's the pic with the bible and coins as well.
monday, may 2
went to printed matter for the invites. i had them make 2 layouts for me, which i do hope they will be able to make by saturday because i'm really so excited to see the mock-up. i'm also hoping they could put the precious moments theme a bit. hehe.... goes with my missallete. phoebe is a really young, nice girl, and she seems to know what she's doing, and the invites were really cheap.
i then went to quiapo to buy some beads for the cord and for some female entourage members. when i got home my MOH went to our house, and while we were chatting i was able to make the cord. proudly DIY! hehe.... of course i got a lot of comments from my mom about using pearls, but of course, i don't believe that. i believe in every marriage trials will come, tears will fall, whether or not you use pearls in your accessories. anyhoo, to appease her i made a bracelet for her with the materials i bought. so she's not bugging me about it anymore. i was able to make the entourage earring gifts already, will be giving it to them before the ceremony so they can all wear them. since we will be spending for their gowns, i don't think there is a need for such extravagant gifts for them anymore. kuha na lang sila ng souvenir. hehe.
tuesday, may 3
i got the shock of my life when, after lunch, i received the NSO birth certificates i applied for via courier. the shock came when i saw that tabs' name was misspelled - the ireneo was spelled as eremio! OMG! i was freaking out. was able to talk to her mom in the evening. she'll be helping daw with the processing, will give an update on that, hopefully soon.
we met in the evening, which was almost cancelled because we were having small tampuhan as always. i'll make it up to him with my sweetness tonight. teeheehee. :-p
to date i was able to find the article (its Republic Act 9048, actually) on how to file the papers, will be giving them to him so he could give it to his mom. I'll drop by his office after work, probably have dinner. And of course, since i promise to be sooo nice to him today, i bought him the newest FHM mag, 100 sexiest women in the world. :-) he'll have a nice time looking at it for sure. and i also got a SMB babad shirt for him. we have the same shirt again. hehehe...
there goes updates. lots more thoughts when i can squeeze in some more time for blogging.
saturday, april 30
i went to another company (department) outing, where i so badly wanted to win in the raffle, with ipods, personal refs, magic mic and tv with rack were at stake. to cut the long story short, i did not win. huh. so bad. had dinner with officemates. i'll miss them when they move to the other building, but i'll miss megamall too if i were to join them. i'll miss my cube (which i enjoy having here at my current assignment), and i enjoy my work. so far. of course i would enjoy higher pay. duh.
sunday, may 1
labor day. went to tabs' house to spend time with him, brought some mangoes which were not too sweet. kainis. i'll never buy at qmart again! hmph. i really enjoyed quiet time with tabs. we had a chance to chat and of course, cuddle a bit. :-)
i was also able to do the unity candle (revised). here's the pic with the bible and coins as well.
monday, may 2
went to printed matter for the invites. i had them make 2 layouts for me, which i do hope they will be able to make by saturday because i'm really so excited to see the mock-up. i'm also hoping they could put the precious moments theme a bit. hehe.... goes with my missallete. phoebe is a really young, nice girl, and she seems to know what she's doing, and the invites were really cheap.
i then went to quiapo to buy some beads for the cord and for some female entourage members. when i got home my MOH went to our house, and while we were chatting i was able to make the cord. proudly DIY! hehe.... of course i got a lot of comments from my mom about using pearls, but of course, i don't believe that. i believe in every marriage trials will come, tears will fall, whether or not you use pearls in your accessories. anyhoo, to appease her i made a bracelet for her with the materials i bought. so she's not bugging me about it anymore. i was able to make the entourage earring gifts already, will be giving it to them before the ceremony so they can all wear them. since we will be spending for their gowns, i don't think there is a need for such extravagant gifts for them anymore. kuha na lang sila ng souvenir. hehe.
tuesday, may 3
i got the shock of my life when, after lunch, i received the NSO birth certificates i applied for via courier. the shock came when i saw that tabs' name was misspelled - the ireneo was spelled as eremio! OMG! i was freaking out. was able to talk to her mom in the evening. she'll be helping daw with the processing, will give an update on that, hopefully soon.
we met in the evening, which was almost cancelled because we were having small tampuhan as always. i'll make it up to him with my sweetness tonight. teeheehee. :-p
to date i was able to find the article (its Republic Act 9048, actually) on how to file the papers, will be giving them to him so he could give it to his mom. I'll drop by his office after work, probably have dinner. And of course, since i promise to be sooo nice to him today, i bought him the newest FHM mag, 100 sexiest women in the world. :-) he'll have a nice time looking at it for sure. and i also got a SMB babad shirt for him. we have the same shirt again. hehehe...
there goes updates. lots more thoughts when i can squeeze in some more time for blogging.
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