the roller coaster ride called LIFE

life really is a roller coaster ride. sometimes things seem to go too well only to end up, well, the exact opposite. right at this moment i feel bare, after resolving to not wear my ER. tabs and I had another one of our heated arguments, and yet again, one thing led to another and *poof* we are not in speaking terms yet again.

sometimes all these fights become tiring, they have become routine that i often wonder whether the same thing will happen after we are married. and it scares me. the emotional pain weighs me down whenever it occurs to me that perhaps we will be facing this same emotional crises for the rest of our married life.

just this morning when i was asking my officemate for the tissue roll he borrowed the night before, he told me nothing was left of it, since one of our student trainees cried her heart out. I find it ironic, because the night before, i myself was crying. incidentally, I learned that the reason the must have broken up was because of lack of time spent together. That's funny. A one-year relationship and they are fighting about that. You should try a nine-year relationship. You'd know what taking for granted means like the back of your hand. and i could laugh at their immaturity to fight because of things like that. but deep inside, all i wish is that i am not in that same situation, which i am.

we were suppossed to watch the revenge of the sith this evening at glorietta. i dunno if i'm still watching, have the tickets and i intend to return them to him. so i'll probably leave the office early to get to his office by 7, that way i know if i'll go home early or what. frankly i want to sleep. i asked for time off. i want to have some time for myself.

huh... my post doesn't make much sense at all. sleepy... sleepy.